


One more saved

by Angelwithwingsoffire



Series: Prompts [22]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:18:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2240418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angelwithwingsoffire/pseuds/Angelwithwingsoffire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Nogitsune Stiles could never stop blaming himself. The guilt was overwhelming him and so he decided to do it, he was going to jump. And he tried, but one unlikely wolf pulled him back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One more saved

**Author's Note:**

> This was prompted over [here.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1566530/comments/14605371)

Stiles pushed open the door and carefully let it shut behind him. He had to be quiet. No one could hear him up here. He couldn't get caught. Not now. Not after finally plucking up the courage to do this.

He turned away from the door after hearing the click that said it was shut and looked out across the roof. He was standing on the roof of the hospital, overlooking Beacon Hills. He walked out onto the open roof and tilted his head back to look up at the stars. Ever since the Nogitsune he's loved watching the stars. They are the only thing in a world he's begun to hate that he still likes. The beauty of the stars and the memories of watching them with his mom are too great to be polluted by Stiles's own evil nature. Because that's what he is now. He's evil. He hurt Scott. He killed Allison. He killed Aiden.

He doesn't deserve to be alive when they aren't. He tilted his head back down, away from the stars. He doesn't deserve to look at the stars when they can't anymore. Because of him. Because he is the reason they can't see the stars anymore. Because he opened the door. Because he was weak. He couldn't take it. Scott and Allison could. Both of them were strong enough. They kept their pack safe. But Stiles didn't. He wasn't strong. And his pack paid the price for his mistake.

Stiles walked forward, staring at the roof. He refused to dishonor them by looking at the stars when he didn't deserve the sight. He walked across the roof and stood by the ledge, looking out. There was no one around, no movement or sounds other than the swing of the street cables and the humming of electricity in the hospital below him. He used to like that sound. He'd come visit Melissa with Scott and smile at the sound because it was the sound of healing. That humming meant people were being saved. It meant the machines were working and that people were healing. That doctors were hurrying about their business and helping people get better. But not anymore. Not since that sound and those machines and all the bustling doctors failed to save Claudia Stilinski. That's why he chose this place. That's why he's going to do this here. Because they failed to save his mother, and she didn't deserve to die, so they are no doubt going to fail to save him, someone who deserves nothing but death.

Stiles climbed up onto the ledge and sat there with his legs hanging over the edge. He stared down at the pavement below him and some small voice in the back corner of his mind suggested that this wasn't the answer. He slammed down on it, crushing it under the fist of the rest of his mind. He has to do this. He has to. He needs to make things right.

Stiles got to his feet, taking deep breaths as the wind tugged at his clothes and tried to pull the breath from his body. _Just wait a minute_ , he told the wind. _Just one minute and you can have all the breath you'd like from me. I won't need it anymore_.

Stiles spread his arms wide, deciding he could allow the small romantic part of his brain the chance to feel a little like Rose before he took his final flight.

Stiles moved forward until his toes were hanging over the edge. He closed his eyes and reveled in the feeling of freedom. Soon he would be free of his guilt, not that he deserved to be, and the world would be free of his stupidity, which everyone deserved.

Stiles took one last deep breath and let his body fall forward.

The air felt pushed out of him in a painful way as he felt himself fall forward and get yanked back and then he was being crushed, warm bars of iron wrapped around his body so he couldn't breathe. He could hear voices but the words didn't make any sense. They were just a jumble of sounds until the iron bars loosened and he could draw in a huge breathe and then the sounds became words.

"Holy shit Stiles what the hell were you thinking why would you even consider jumping like that and leaving all of us don't you fucking know how much we all fucking need you how fucking much _I_ need you?!"

Stiles pushed his eyes back open, unsure of when they even closed, and was surprised by what he saw, although now the warm iron bars made sense.

Jackson was holding him, bridal style, on the roof still, pressing Stiles against his chest so he could bury his face in the human's hair. The iron bars were Jackson's arms, his werewolf strength gone unchecked for a few moments in his fear and shock when he saw Stiles on the ledge.

"Jackson?" Stiles asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently saving your fucking life you fucking idiot." Jackson snapped at him. "What the fuck were you thinking Stiles?"

"World doesn't need me. Better off without me here to screw shit up."

Jackson growled. "Don't you dare say that you fucking asshole. Don't you dare even think that we would be better off without you. We _need_ you, you fucking idiot. You're the brains behind everything. We'd all be dead if not for you."

"Allison and Aiden are dead anyways." Stiles glared. "Now put me down."

"No." Jackson glared back. "I can't trust you not to try again."

"Why the hell did you save me?! And why were you up here in the first place?"

"I care." Jackson said simply. "I care more about you than I ever thought it was possible to care about one person." Jackson sighed. "And fucking hell Stiles you scared me to fucking death. I followed you up here to tell you how I feel and I see you getting ready to fucking jump and I couldn't even think straight. I grabbed you and pulled you back because I fucking care. And you know what Stiles? That's the fucking problem. You don't care about getting hurt. But you know how I'll feel? I'll be devastated, and if you die...fucking hell Stiles if you die I will literally go out of my freaking mind. Because death doesn't fucking happen to you Stiles, it happens to everyone around you. Okay? To all the people left standing at your funeral trying to figure out how they're gonna live the rest of their lives now, without you in it. And I have no fucking idea how I would go on without you because you have been my anchor for so fucking long that you dying would make me so fucking lost in all of this."

Stiles froze, every muscle in his body tight as a spring, before his body went limp against Jackson's body with a sigh. "Fucking hell I am dead. Thank god."

Jackson was confused. "You're not dead, you idiot."

"I obviously am if I'm imagining the one guy that has hated me forever and made my life suck for years and I still fucking fell for him when he stopped being an asshole despite him never even looking at me twice telling me he cares about me."

Jackson's eyes widened as the meaning behind Stiles's words sank in and then he sat down on the roof, holding Stiles in his lap. He used his right hand that had been under Stiles's legs to grab his head and gently drag his chin up so Stiles was looking at him. "Stiles." Jackson said gently. "How can I convince you that you're not imagining this? How can I make you sure that you're alive and you're here and you're so fucking important to me and the pack and none of what happened was your fault and I am so fucking in love with you it hurts?"

Stiles's eyes widened the words surprising him. He never thought he'd hear those words come out of Jackson's mouth. And he knew now that this wasn't some after death hallucinations. He'd never have been able to imagine this. "You really saved me." His voice was shocked and surprised and awed and so full of amazement it made Jackson's heart ache.

Jackson nodded. "Of course I saved you dimwit. I love you. I wasn't going to watch you jump to your death."

Stiles hit his hand against Jackson's chest but he was smiling. "Stop saying that."

Jackson grinned. "Saying what? That I love you? I am never going to stop saying that cause it's true and I love saying it."

Stiles blushed and ducked his head into Jackson's chest.

Jackson laughed. "Am I to take this as you returning my feelings? Cause if you don't this is gonna be really awkward."

Stiles looked up at Jackson, his face worried. "But what about everything I did?"

"What did you do?"

"I opened the door to the Nogitsune. I let it possess me. I let it use me to hurt people. To _kill_ people. Allison and Aiden were my fault." He slumped against Jackson again, hiding his face. "They died because of me."

"Is this what made you want to jump? You thought you deserved it?"

Stiles nodded against Jackson's chest.

"Well you're fucking wrong then." Jackson declared. "You may have opened the door but you did not let the Nogitsune do anything. If I know anything at all about you, and I would certainly hope I do seeing as I love you, then I know that you were fighting for control every single second because one of your biggest traits and one of the best things about you is your loyalty. If you care about someone or something you will fight tooth and nail against whatever is standing in your way. You protected Scott from me when I was still a stuck-up jackass and I know you did everything you could to regain control and keep your friends and yor pack safe. Because that's who you are. That's what you do. You protect. No matter what."

Stiles didn't say anything, just sat there. Jackson could tell he still didn't believe and he sighed.

"Stiles do you remember when I was a kanima?"

"Of course." Stiles said, confused by the question.

"And everything I did?"

Stiles nodded.

"Do you blame me for any of that?"

"Of course not!" Stiles exclaimed. "Matt and Gerard were controlling you. You didn't do anything wrong!"

"But I opened the door, didn't I? I asked Derek to bite me. I chose Matt as my Master. I started the whole thing."

"But you didn't know that rejecting the bite was a possibility! And you didn't choose Matt as your Master he was just the one you latched onto! You didn't do anything and you certainly didn't start it you just wanted to be a wolf!"

Jackson smiled. "And you may have opened the door to the Nogitsune like I asked Derek to bite me, but you didn't choose to let it possess you, just like I didn't choose Matt as my Master. You don't deserve any of this guilt Stiles. You didn't do anything wrong."

Stiles sat there, silent in surprise. What Jackson said was smart. He used Stiles's own words against him so that Stiles had no choice but to either blame Jackson for the kanima stuff or forgive himself for the Nogitsune stuff. Stiles smiled and looked at Jackson.

"When the fuck did you get smart?"

Jackson chuckled. "When I fell in love with the smartest guy I know and decided I better start actually paying attention in school so I can at least try to keep up with him."

"Don't think I didn't notice you using guy instead of person so Lydia wasn't included."

Jackson grinned. "We both know she's smarter than everyone."

Stiles nodded. "That she is."

"So do you still blame yourself?"

Stiles thought for a moment and then nodded. "A little yea. But it might get better."

"Well we'll have to make the might a definitely."

Stiles smiled. "You know what I think a good start on that would be?"

Jackson smirked, having an idea. "What?"

"They say true love's kiss can fix any curse."

Jackson laughed. "Well then we better give it a shot."

Stiles grinned and leaned up to meet Jackson's lips.

"I love you." Stiles whispered against Jackson's lips.

"I love you too." Jackson answered.

And as the two of them sat there on the roof, the wind sweeping around them as if apologizing for wanting Stiles's breaths and the electricity of the hospital hummed beneath them, one more person was saved.


End file.
